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A Conspiracy of Paper : A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle)

David Liss

ToolA Conspiracy of Paper : A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle)
Published: 30 January, 2001
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As of: July 24th, 2008 09:16:12 AM
Author: David Liss

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FRIEND ADVISES PUNSTER TO GO SLOW WITH NEW COLLEAGUES (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: My significant other helped me find a wonderful job with intelligent people. I'm an inveterate punster -- "If I put a leafy green vegetable on the barbecue, will it be chard?"


SUMMER HEAT TURNS LOCKED CAR INTO FURNACE FOR HELPLESS PET (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: The letter from "No Dogs in the Car" you printed last year (Aug. 6) appeared one day too late for me.


GUARDIAN'S CANCER DIAGNOSIS PUTS BOY'S FUTURE IN QUESTION (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: My cousin's 9-year-old son, "Andy," has been living with me for the past few years. Now my husband has been diagnosed with cancer, and I must return Andy to his mother.


DYING WOMAN'S HOSTILITY IS TEARING HER SISTER APART (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: Please help me -- I am in pieces. My sister is dying of cancer. She has shut me out of her life and has become very hostile toward me. This is breaking my heart, and I don't know how to deal with it. I have done nothing to offend her, and I don't understand why she is acting this way.


FAMILY INCREDULOUS AT BIRTH OF UNEXPECTED BUNDLE OF JOY (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: Our son "Sean" is 20 and has been going with a girl 2 1/2 years older than he is. I'll call her "Taryn." When we first met Taryn we liked her very much. She was chubby, and Sean told us she was on a diet. We found out later Taryn was 5 1/2 months pregnant.


FATHER LAMENTS CONVERSATION GAP WITH HIS ONLY DAUGHTER (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I am the father of a middle-aged, unmarried, well-educated daughter I'll call "Yvette." My problem is, whether we're together or talking on the phone, Yvette seems to find it difficult to converse with me.


FRIENDS PITCH IN TO HELP KEEP WEDDING COSTS UNDER CONTROL (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I had to laugh when I saw the letter from "Not Sure If I Do" (May 8), who hesitated to attend a potluck wedding at which guests would be expected to pitch in and do dishes.


MOM'S RELUCTANCE TO DISCUSS SEX PUTS DAUGHTERS AT RISK (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old niece, "Nicki," was recently diagnosed with an STD. When her mother, my sister-in-law "Cynthia," found out she was horrified. She had ignored several family members -- including me -- who had tried to warn her that Nicki was sexually active and not taking proper precautions.


NEWSPAPER TUG-OF-WAR COULD BECOME RACE TO THE BATHROOM (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I love your column. Unfortunately, it appears on the same page as the comics and Sudoku puzzle in our newspaper. Every morning my boyfriend drinks a cup of coffee and then disappears into the bathroom for a good 15 minutes -- even longer on weekends -- with your section of the paper. Half the time I never get it back, and if I do it's never in fresh, crisp condition.


FINALITY OF PET'S DEATH IS HARD IDEA FOR NIECE TO GRASP (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my loyal companion of 12 years, my dog Buddy. His death has been difficult for me, although with each passing day the hurt eases a little.


TWO AUTHORS, ONE BOOK CREATE JEALOUS HOUSEHOLD (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Scott," and I are writers, although we both have day jobs. During the two years we've been together, we have always supported each other's writing careers.


DAD WHO DATED ON THE REBOUND SHOULD TRY TO CATCH HER AGAIN (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I went through a bitter divorce a few years ago after my wife, "Cassie," had an affair. During the divorce I confided a lot in Cassie's sister, "Lisa." We had always been close friends, but one thing led to another.


FAMILY PURSE STRINGS ARE NO LONGER IN HUSBAND'S HANDS (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going through a financial situation which many families seem to face these days, where the wife has to take care of the family's finances.


STRUGGLING SINGLE DAD FINDS OUT HOW LITTLE HE KNOWS (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I am a single parent, although I never intended to be. Last fall, I was asked to baby-sit a 14-year-old boy. He has been in my custody ever since. His mother abandoned him. Only in the last month have I actually gotten legal custody of him from Social Services. The problems he had prior to being with me have caused me legal expenses I never could have imagined. (They are all paid now.)


WOMAN PREPARING TO WED IS FEARFUL OF GROWING APART (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman who has been dating my boyfriend for a number of years. As exciting as the thought of marriage sounds, it is also scary. Too many times I have heard that a couple separated because they had "grown apart" or "grew in different directions."


VOLUNTEERS BY THE THOUSANDS HELP TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: On April 11 you asked what your readers think is right with American society. I'll bet you were inundated with responses to that question, and I hope you allow me to be one of those who answer it.


HUSBAND'S ROAD BEHAVIOR IS DRIVING HIS WIFE NUTS (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: "Robert" and I have been married seven years and have two sons, ages 1 and 3. Something is bothering me that didn't before -- Robert's driving. My husband speeds, tailgates, honks his horn to make others go faster and uses racial epithets. If I say anything to him, he accuses me of not trusting him or says I'm looking for something to complain about.


CHEATING TO GET AHEAD ONLY PUTS STUDENT FURTHER BEHIND (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I am 12 and have bad problems at school. Whenever I'm behind, can't figure out a problem or just want to get it done, I cheat.


HOUSEGUEST TREADS CAUTIOUSLY ON CUSTOM OF REMOVING SHOES (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I have been wondering about the custom of shoe removal when someone is a guest at the home of the person who practices this custom before entering the house.


DAUGHTER CHAFES UNDER STRICT CONTROL OF SUSPICIOUS MOTHER (Dear Abby)
Dear Abby - DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school student in the top 2 percent of my class. I'm heavily involved in extracurricular activities. I don't give my mom much to worry about, but she is always "concerned."